so long neve update my blog...

n now ... hais i jus dun have the mood tats where i let out here

i found tat i misses the part of my life where my the other half is with me...

as i start work in gardens today ...

i was day dreaming whole day ...

sobbing the whole day .... i surrender 

i really do .... two bf tat giv me the same reason to break up wit me...

i wonder m i the point here ... which i naifly deny ...

i found out tat ... i treats frens n bf is definately different where 1st piorrity is bf...

which make me irritating then ever ....

i surrender my self of being in a relationship again ...

the one i really though i could may be this time is real i could jus commit wit him...

at the end its the same thing ... 

things will never be forever ,,,,

even the stuff i buy will also spoiled one day ...

as i go home passing through the high way ...

i was day dreaming again with my life nowadays i feel lik crying ...

but god seems to play me over n over again....

the car number plate why number number number number keep poping out from my view...

the most important here is the word why ...

why do i need to cry ... why do i need to be so heart sick...

why i cant forget ...

why i cant live my life jus normal....

wHY wILL YOU LeAVe me ALONe>>>

common sense my fault ...one is may be 50 50 is either him o me...

but this is the second time ... definately is me...

i m sorry to both of u ... bryan n gilbert ....

for making u feel lik a burden ...

although i jus pass two months with both of u guys...

i do really kept it as a memory ... a sweet one...

no one ever wants a relationshiip to break... 

same goes to me.... i jus wish i will neve here afterall....

well my life suck ... family lik shit no one in the house understand me...

even my aunt also dun understand me...

me my self also getting really confuse ... confusing abt many other stuff...

i cant forgiv my self... to be who i m now ....i cant ever be proud to say i m single again...

i lost my trust to my father ...

i lost hope on this family ...

i lost hope on my self ,,,,

i lost the love of my life ,,,,

i lost fate on me....

even so many things do happens .. there always a fren tat is there for me...

even we fights n argue all the time .. but he is still there for me...

i appreciate tat a lot .... may be frens is sometimes better then ntg ....

i jus hope i won be involved in another relationship i jus simply r scared abt it .... tiring...