yes we no longer have the same feeling as 4 months before...
time change n people change ....
i still remember he once chase me ... its jus lik yesterday ...
where he always msn me... calling me to go out with him ... n then he always waited me to get ready for 30 min ...
till one day its raining ... we made a innocent mistake in his car .. where we started kissing ...
becos ... i finally can accept him ....
i still remember i gave many excuses for him y i dint accept him...
simply becos ... his birth date is same with one of my ex ... tat hurt me a lot last time...
i really trusted horoscope a lot ... n i scare he will be the same as my ex last time...
even tat day ... we kissed ... i still feel the fear in me ... tat one day i will lose him ...
n he will hurt me ... but i didnt think the day will arrive so fast lik a thunder strike...
the time we started dating ... our frens neve tough of it ... all becos of me ...
becos i treating him so cold .... n i always flirt with guys ...
becos tat time i m not fully feeling lik to commit to him till the day we r together...
n i have totally change from bad gurl > a anti talking with guys ... unless they r my close frens...
my bf will always tell me how i change ... n i can see how he change as well....
at the beginning ... he really treat me as if i m the angel from the sky ...
the princess of the fare land...
the love tat only he can get....
when we go out we will look lik no any couple in the earth...
very sweet n holding hands... talking n smiling away...
even when he go out station he will giv me his pillow ...
jus in case tat i misses him ... i will hug his pillow.... he will buy for me chocolate jus in case...
tat i suffering from period pain ... n the chocolates will help me...
he will always tell me he love me ... n say good nite everyday without fail...
but i dunno since when ... he didnt do so anymore....
i misses when he suddenly called me .. n call me ching ai de ... wat r u doing ... i very miss u oh ...
i misses the days he invite me to go out with him...
i misses the way he treat me so so good...
i misses the days... when he tells me how much he love me ...
the longer the relationship been ...
the lesser he tells me wats his doing ...
the lesser he tell me he loves me
the lesser he tell me he miss me....
the lesser we hold hands in public...
the lesser we communicate....
the lesser smiles tat appear in our faces...
the more argument between us....
the more lies you told me...
the more secret you have to hide from me...
the more tears i lay for u ...
the more lazier you get everyday ...
the more u change till become a guy tat i not use to know...
the more complains from u ...
i always wonder y we will become lik this ??....
n i dare not tell u wat i really feel in me ... till jus today ...
i exploded... i tell u everything i m i not really happy with the way u r...
i dun mind u not spending me out for fancy dinner....
i dun mind sitting with u at mamak to have our dinner or lunch ...
i dun mind movies once a month ....
i dun mind movies in ur room with u ...
i dun mind u scold me bitch or lazy or stubborn
but i do mind when u tell me less i love u ...
i mind when u less hug me....
i mind when u less find me out jus to see me...
i mind when u less tell me u miss me...
i mind when care less abt me n my feelings for u ...
as wat we gone through together ... its not much n not to say less...
from u i learn a lot... a lot tat i cant be learn from no one else...
i still really love you ... very very much ...
even jus now i wish to hug u tightly ... n say out loud i love u ...
but i bare my self for it ... as i feel ... u dun take me seriously when i m serious to u ...
i wan to find u is becos i wanna see ur reaction how u deal when i say we ends here...
but in the end ... u didnt ... u jus let me go ... becos u said u cant fullfill my needs...
i m really disappointed tat u decided tat ...while i was hoping for not to let me go pls...
but wats done is done ... i cant take a time machine to go back to jus now ...
i really thinking the fact tat y we always argue is becos of money ...
money is the reason wat make u so mad of me...
but i really did change for u ... n u admit tat ur self too ... then y u blame me again n again ...
n take it back up to say again n again ...??
which i committed the same crime?? ...and u said i changed a lot for u ?? it doesnt make sense...
n becos of u scare of losing to me while we were in a fight...
tat y make u brought up tat idea ?? ... i started crying from 9 till now ...
i neve stop ... n i dunno how m i suppose to sit for exam tomoro ...
n cant able to sleep ... n keep on thinking of jus u n u n more you in my head...
sobbing away ... i feel ridiculous...
my self saying break up n i m the one tats sad...
i feel silly ... may be becos i dint want to let go ??
No comments:
Post a Comment