after its been quite a long time ...

i notice a thing ...

i had been stressing out my self a lot...

i forgotten whens the last time did i ever really had fun ... till yesterday ...

when i went out with my best fren kah mun ...

i really feel the craziness ... the happiness tat i really wanted to feel...

n the 2 hours .. its lik jus 20 mins....

even after a long break in langkawi and penang

it doesnt feel as much of a fun lik i had yesterday but yes i did have fun in the trip ...

n the trip make me keep seeing back the picture we took during the trip ...

for several time ... n it make me feel relaxing while doing it...

and now i asked my self...

when really the last time i did had such fun ??

even nowadays i go clubbing oso .. it feels lik somethings missing ...

the feeling yesterday was lik nothing to care abt ...

and the moments only matters to me... its to have as much fun as possible ..

i feel tat way ... n it really make me feel lik ntg else matter ... even there is people beside us seeing us playing a fool taking picture... me n kah mun still doesnt care...

n i used to be the gurl i describe ...

but lately i m being to be more to

a stalker

a no fun

a anti social

a think a lot

a too emotional

a sensitive

a stick a lot to my lover

frankly speaking i dun really care abt my studies.. even the last min till spm ...

i was still playing around becos... i m kiasu ( too proud of myself)

becos i though tat my trial marks is good enuff ... till i regret ... i dint study ...

but it doesnt stop me from caring abt my studies..

till when it come to college ... when i can feel the stressness when the lecturer always pay more attention to the scholarship student n my class is lik 4/5 r scholarship student ,

and really i neve did cried for my marks be4 n yet now i do ...

becos its really bad comparing with them ...

n i feel really hard when the lecturer doesnt even have the intention to teach us ( non scholarship student) properly ...

i remember once i was asking my accountant lecturer how to do the account homework...

and she uses the angry n scolding tone to teach me... infront of everyone...

its really hurtfull n i feel humiliated....

then wat the hell u being my lecturer for??