i remember when the 1st day we meet ...
we were having a yum cha section in stevents corner
where i dunno y i feel i can talk a lot when i were with u ...
i feel really comfortable when i with u the 1st day ...
becos i talk a lot ... compare when i with judson ...
still remember he chasing me tat time ... yea...
i really feel when i was with him i feel tat i m not my self...
n when i was with u ... i really feel wow i can talk so much ...
then the 2nd day going out with u was when u wanted to go alliance bank ...
i company u go n u yum cha with ur frens as well....
the 1st time i see ur frens bring out other gurls...
n u tell me they r lala ... u dun like this kinda gurls...
i really feel tat ur so cute ... y u need to tell me leh ??
i still remember i was being move by u ...
when my father went into the hospital ...
i really feel my heart has broken apart and u want to go to the hospital to company me....
but i push ur offer becos... i dun want my father to know you as u were not yet my bf....
my father start knowing u went i brought durian back to the house...
and assume its ur buying for my family ....
the trick really took my father heart ....
after tat he seem lik always ask me about u until when i start crying for u in-front of him...
then he knows wats going on ... we broke up de....
i always lik when u bring me out becos of me ...
not beocs of ur frens... call u out only u call me....
actually being with u i really learned a lot....
at least i m not the "dun know anything " kinda gurl i m b4 ....
at least u teach me wats true love ....
at least u make me know tat how much i love you ... more then any guys tat i dated....
at least u make me know tat loving each other doesnt means we need to be together ....
at least you love me b4 n after we broke up ... u still treat me so good....
i now really regret why i dint appreciate when the time i be with you ...
n ywhy i need to comment a lot of wat ur actually trying to do ...
at least i learn my lesson tat i should en control everything in a relationship...
as i m a control sive person
after we broke up and get back together again i started to write dairy remind my self how bad and good you treat me... n now its time for u to see wat i wrote....
the 1st day when we get back together is on 10 January
i ask you to come out to discuss abt us again ....
i cried in front of you .... i really wanted to hug u tat time n hold ur hands...
i feel so sad when i ask u ... u still love me ??
you said u dun know.... n u still accepted to get back together with me ....
i was really happy tat time ... but when u say u wanna go out with ur frens...
i m being childish again ... wanted to follow u go ...
i m so happy when u pass the money n call me lao poh help me keep the money ....
its really sweet .... i will always remember ....
11 jan
2nd day we get back together ... this is the day when we kissed the longest
when u wanted to go ur frens house
you neve ask me whether i wanted to go or not ...
then you just bring me along only ... i really want tat i want u to control me....
i feel happy when u have this decision in ur mind de....
i really wanted to tell u how much i m happy tat day ....
when i playing psp the time u touch my head with ur hand i feel lik i m being protected ....
i feel lik a children again ...
when u fecth me home ... you kiss me n day u love me a lot... you really make me feel lik flying ...
i m happy ~!!! really soo soo sooo happy ....
but when we were out side with ur frens... i jus feel very useless y ur frens n thier gf can be so good n we dint even talk to each other i m so jealous...
12 jan
i went out with my fren today ... when i saw this ''kuih ''
u told me u lik to eat i buy for u ... but in the end you dint get to eat it ... becos
u went out with ur frens to drink beer....
13 jan
in so so many months you finally date me out ...
we go pasar malam together... and you send me a email in facebook to remind me happy 4 months togehter.... but u neve change u still bring me go pub ...
but at least u got bring me out with u leh ... hahah
then when you sms me tell me good night ... i sleep de neve saw ur message leh ...
15 jan
i today really miss you a lot a lot ah!!! but also good de...
you got at least call me tell me where r u going out with ur frens... and when u reach home you also got tell me you reach home de.... we dint go out becos i go wedding dinner with family so cant go out with u ...
17 jan
yesterday i dint go out with him also becos i go wedding dinner again .... and when i reach home also 12 am de so i also know tat he wont go out with me de la...
cos he lazy pig lai de ma hahah....
so better sleep only lo ...
and i know tat i wanna sleep late a bit so i off my phone sound and sleep de .... haha but u send message to me at 3am ... telling me u cant sleep i dint reply becos i still sleeping ....
when i get up i feel yer i missed a chance de!!! i wanna go crazy de i really miss u a lot!!
but u still need to company ur cousin tat come from sarawak...
hais today also no chance to go out with u de la ..
18 jan
the forth day neve see you de.... i dunno why i ahve the feeling lik you r ignoring me ...
n hiding away from me.... i really want to see you ... i cant control my self de...
i wanna scold you de why you lik wont miss me de leh!!! why!!!
and you make me so angry is becos... you say ... misss tell you then enough lo ...
why need to see leh ..>.<>
i really wanna know do you really love me ??
u promise me tat u will bring me out today to go drink beer with ur frens...
but in last minute u dint... hais is jus lik the langkawi trip ....
actually i already know tat u won bring me go de...
jus if u say ok la we go la then at least i will say no wan la u go have fun lo ... i jus wanna test you will bring me or not but in the end hump~~~~!!!!
19 jan ...
today got chance to go out with u lo!!! so happy ... when hug u the time really dun fee lik letting you go !!! i feel lik sleep with u also hug u till i wake up leh .... hahah
at 1st i though when u see me the time u really miss me a lot a lot ...
but after a while u not happy becos something happen ... ( wanna know ask me bah)
but at least u got go hear the whole sales when my fren call me hear de....
at least u got go with me...
20 jan
today i call you out to help me fix my laptop....
but in the end you bring me go pub pulak ... swt za dao 99
but also good de u got bring me go .... hahah ...
you dun let me eat peanut becos u worry of me ... and when u dirve me home de time u keep hold my hand dun let go very very long neve try lik this hold hands de!!!
when i say i go be those pub gurls u stop me dun let me go ;... ahhaha.... i was jus joking la...
and when you cheer with other gurl in front of me actually i ntg de la...
jus wanna fool around with u hahah...
when i reach home u kiss me very very long only let me go ....
look lik u dun wan let me go only .. so long neve see u lik this de ...
21 jan
today kinda happy also de... i reach home from college is abt 5pm de....
i know you finish work at 6 pm .... so tat y i neve sleep jus to get ready my self to go out with u ...
so u dun need to go home n come fetch me so ma fan lo ...
but you 8 pm only finish work...
i though u will tell me u lazy n tired dun wanna see me de... but u dint ...
and u bring me go pasar malam ... but then raining so we buy things then go de....
so u call me to go back the car 2st u go collect the things cox u scare i kena rain...
we go ur house eat dinner... when in ur house u keep smell my hair and kiss my fore head ...
i really wish everyday u also can treat me so good...
22 jan
you suddenly go out station de...
also dunno why de.... very miss u tim dunno why ... may be becos neve hear ur voice gua...
hope u sunday come back can see u lo ....
26 jan
today i see you de!!! actually i only wanna go bank to take money becos got chance to see u ...
hahah jus use this excuse.... then you company me go along ...
and when i go up the car ... i smell got durian smell n i ask u ...
you say u buy for me to eat de.... i really wanna jump de....
then we go ur house to eat durian ... may be you jus wanna see me also gua hahah...
u giv me use ur cheque to pay my school fee...
becos u say carry so many money very dangerous for me.... haha so protective of u !!!
28 jan
very disappointed neve bring me go jogoya ... may be becos i predicted tat ....
marcus will also bring his gf de lo ... hais ... jealous....
31 jan
fri i dye my hair de.... i really wanted you to be the 1st person to see my hair....
but disappointed ... you r very busy with ur work ... but when u call me u scold me !!
hais... actually today i go ur office n peep you ... i know i cant see u de...
so i jus wanna see u from out side..
haha u working without ur cloth on only wear ur pants... so funny ...
so then i go find u excuse was i wana giv u back money ...
then u notice my hair n u tell me it look nicer then my previous hair ... haha i so happy ...
n i notice tat when u see me ... you seem so happy also ... may be becos i find u gus right??
saturday
i go out with my sis to sg wang today jus to buy cny shirt ,... then at night go out with u to go ur fren open house.... ur frens all gamble but at 1st u dint gamble...
may be becos wanna company me gua but in the end ... u gamble also hahah ... u will neve change de la hahah ... i really feel very sien so i go out ... and sit on the swing n think abt us...
dunno why i feel these few days i really feel happy with u ...
but i only feel tat i comapny u do all the things tat u wanna do ...
n neve once was the things i wanna do ... but u dint make me disappointed i though i go out u wont notice at all... but at least u call me twice to ask me go back... when i watching avatar....
u say u will bring me go watch one day ... i really feel wow... i m so touch ... when u say tat word.
sunday ...
i stayed over... and when u wake up u keep on hugging me
i feel so being loved!!! then u tell me abt the work u planned to do ...
then after tat u fetch me home... at night you fetch me out to buy buskin robbins ice cream... then we at ur mom office for few hours...
dunno do wat ... hais ... i really feel very sien n pist off... y u wanna waste 2 hours...
1st feb
its wilayah day ... i though today we can go out together for a movie...
n though u will sleep late...
so neve sms u ... but in the end ... u go ur frens house to gamble... i really kinda pist off...
dunno y i feel so bad... i dunno y i feel lik hais.... dunno
then when at night even i know u bring me out dinner is ur way to tell me ur sorry ...
but i still angry then i suggested break up becos too angry tat neve think b4 wat i say ....
n u accepted...i go ur house ...becos i scare to let u go ....
n when u fetch me home the next day ... u neve even say a thing to me ... i feel we r over de...
hais ... i really feel so heart broken ...
then i ate the 20 tablets of sleeping pills to suicide...
i know it sound stupid... but really feel so upset when i know we r over....
3 feb ...
i control my self not to find u sms or reply ur message.... but u keep on sms me ...
i really feel lik tell u how much i wanna get back together but i stay strong ...
n i know i will cry when i reply u
6 feb
today ... is my 1st day working in cyber cafe i really miss ur voice ... miss u a lot a lot ...
n u dint disappoint me u sms me today ...
becos my fren say u wanna know tat i m ok then u won bother abt me anymore...
but in the end u did sms me .. i feel so so so happy !!!
7 feb
after break up ... today we see each other to cut phone line...
i really miss u a lot a lot... when i see u i wanted to ask u to get back together...
but i dint ... but i cant control de... when u=i gonna reach home...
i really brush de.... i really love u a lot!!! i wanna say it out so loud so loud!!!\\
but in the end we dint get back together but remain as best frens...
becos u say u dun wanna hurt me anymore...
i really feel so up set ... really dun wanna be jus frens... becos i m scare tat other people will take u away from me!!!i m so so so happy when u come to my working place to fetch me home.... really make me feel u care about me.. even u still take me as ur best fren...
i feel so so so in love with u dunno why ... i feel tat no one can replace u anymore in my heart ...
i feel so so so miserable ... i feel so sad i know loving someone doesnt mean i need to get him ...
nut i scare one day ... the one u choose to be with u in the future wont be me ...
i know we r still young ... everything is not stable now... but ... i really wish ... the person i wannna pass my life is with u ... i dunno why ... but when i see you ... with other gurls.. i will jus feel lik a knife cut my heart into two ;... i noe i should look forward but ... i still cant let go of u .... its lik stopping drug .... ur my drug ... my only ....
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