after many tears laying

today went to court at 8 am....

was s nervous even breakfast also vomited out...

toilet also went often ....

i reach the mahkamah kuala lumpur at 8.30

well its freaking big .... n lik wow.... do all lawyers work in here

my fuking god .... its really lik a ... speechless....

if i really gonna get my law degree wow i gonna work here for campering...

its lik wow... cool man ....

went to caf to wait for my dads fren ...

he was lik lc his fren hey my daughter gonna study law as well...

(dun bullshit if u haven even comfrim i m gonna take law course)

n then there i saw alau eh all lawyers .. almost half of the cafeteria is all lawyers...

wearing the suits of honour.... n then whole body jus black n white ....

its lik wa ... ok ... n then they taking one big stack of documents .... scary wey ///

waited in he waiting room for my turn to bet for the house...

i saw a buyer there as well....

it was the taman cheras developers son ...

as i can see tat he is nervous as well n wanted to win badly ....

over confident ....

we went in for bet at 11 am....

we bet till 1.13 million n he stop betting de....

1.14milion is my bro ....

there it goes the house belong back to us ....

unfortunately we jus wanna buys us some time....

jus wanna settle my dad loan .... tat all so not gonna pay double for the house ...

at lease we won .... i better get ready to find us a new house jus in case ....

hais....even though everything here is settle .....

i still haven settle my problems....

its two am... cant sleep ... hais tomro how !!!

how i tell you how???

hais hais jus argue wit my dad ... no mood 

hais i say crap with him ... talk a lot hurtful stuff with him

when i say ... we will take care of our self n will not allow u into our new home

i feel my heart is breaking appart ....

his my father but i hope he do really learned his lesson ... hais i jus jus hai .... hais!!!!

kena uri take picture by yon jian but quite natural ....ahahah i lik the pic thx jian...

n this pic i took today ... when i was getting ready to work ... ntg to do....

play my hair extendtion....

tomoro i will know the result whether my house is mine o not...

hais ... i dun even know who to blame to abt this ....

my father or my mom

but most of the prove tat i get is dad's fault ///

i m so darn o mood today ... whole day thinking abt my hme...

where i grow up in .... from small i m as a baby till now...

me my bro n my sis heights measurer wall.... we will need to say good bye to it ...

the way i lk to sit out side the swing to look at the view of kl say bye bye...

the memory of me being in the house... my bed room my memories....

especially the memories of my mom n me when we lik to sit on the swing chatting a lot ....

n enjoy our delicois jam bread .... tats when before my mom go to london ....

tats was the last memory of her i misses her a lot a lot...

i had a lot to talk to her seeing her....

through the phone its jus not the same ....

i miss her smell her nagging her help n support being beside me....

i do really need one right now as tomoro will be a big day for all my family member ....

its lik a stone on my shoulder .... which i cant throw to others ....

i do my best to help my mom ... my house my family ....

i jus wish tomoro we jus win the option .... i m so nervous .... i really needed you being here with me .... 

yesterday post

was so bored yesterday till someone remain me abt my line...

lol was lik freaking du lan ....

when i m i will be lik freaking chun ... well tats me....

the days passing by was very very sien ....

i had ntg to do till yong jian sms me asking me wanna go out tonight to watch movie  not....

then i think eh not bad idea ... (i dun get to see my father)

hmmm n was thinking how to get my evisu pants !!!

eathing disorder lately was lik see food eat de ... feel lik vomitting out ...

hmmm too stress de may be ... so i try to eat mile food...

was so hungry .... 

lol apple donuts rescue me....

lol i was buying fruits .. i 1st time see gold kiwi ... ok...

then till 10 pm yong jian arrive to my shop1!!!! bring me go watch movie!!!

zac efrn.... 17 again was the best movie ever .... not really la but ok la....

he is so darn cute!!!!walau eh the movie was lik wow true story regarding to our teenage life...

contain of romance n love ... he is so darn cute when he try to get back his wife...

the blue eyes he have n the brown hair ... his smile!!!!

killing me!!!! n six packs!!!! ah!!!! double kill....

nice to watch anyways ..... recrementable....

lol don worry kah mun , kit ying i m fine .... as always .... hmmm well 

i actually m happy i got u all supporting my back .... thx 

the second day working in the gardens ...

hais missing pavilion ...

ken jin n desmond,,,,

lol how we used o chat n all...

misses pavilion a lot !!!

y did i change to gardens!!!!! lol was too bored in the gardens outlet tilll

i walk arund i found something make me poison of...

EVISU JEANS 

i was lik hey very nice leh.... n guess how much it is ....

rm1299.... omg fuking god ....

i cant wait till sales... i m poison for this jeans!!! gotta get it ...

hais hais hais so many to buy so little money ... i do wish money do grow on tree...

gucci n coach having sales... so ladies... prepare money !!! up till 30 percent discount!!!

finally today i dun wanna know the answer de the end is better then start over again...

childish won bring me far ....u dun pull me down ... if u do i pull my self back up again...

thx for everything....especially the senteance ... "face the fact" i appreciate a lot !!!

so long neve update my blog...

n now ... hais i jus dun have the mood tats where i let out here

i found tat i misses the part of my life where my the other half is with me...

as i start work in gardens today ...

i was day dreaming whole day ...

sobbing the whole day .... i surrender 

i really do .... two bf tat giv me the same reason to break up wit me...

i wonder m i the point here ... which i naifly deny ...

i found out tat ... i treats frens n bf is definately different where 1st piorrity is bf...

which make me irritating then ever ....

i surrender my self of being in a relationship again ...

the one i really though i could may be this time is real i could jus commit wit him...

at the end its the same thing ... 

things will never be forever ,,,,

even the stuff i buy will also spoiled one day ...

as i go home passing through the high way ...

i was day dreaming again with my life nowadays i feel lik crying ...

but god seems to play me over n over again....

the car number plate why number number number number keep poping out from my view...

the most important here is the word why ...

why do i need to cry ... why do i need to be so heart sick...

why i cant forget ...

why i cant live my life jus normal....

wHY wILL YOU LeAVe me ALONe>>>

common sense my fault ...one is may be 50 50 is either him o me...

but this is the second time ... definately is me...

i m sorry to both of u ... bryan n gilbert ....

for making u feel lik a burden ...

although i jus pass two months with both of u guys...

i do really kept it as a memory ... a sweet one...

no one ever wants a relationshiip to break... 

same goes to me.... i jus wish i will neve here afterall....

well my life suck ... family lik shit no one in the house understand me...

even my aunt also dun understand me...

me my self also getting really confuse ... confusing abt many other stuff...

i cant forgiv my self... to be who i m now ....i cant ever be proud to say i m single again...

i lost my trust to my father ...

i lost hope on this family ...

i lost hope on my self ,,,,

i lost the love of my life ,,,,

i lost fate on me....

even so many things do happens .. there always a fren tat is there for me...

even we fights n argue all the time .. but he is still there for me...

i appreciate tat a lot .... may be frens is sometimes better then ntg ....

i jus hope i won be involved in another relationship i jus simply r scared abt it .... tiring...